Why a blog? Why share personal details, experiences and emotions? I guess for me Ive come to understand and appreciate the value and healing power the stories of others can have on those in similar circumstances. In this age of social media so much of what is shared is intentionally and strategically “glossy”; rainbows, sunshine, ice cream and unicorns, if you will… (we all know thats not real life, right?) What is often left out (with perhaps the exception of the occasional meme or bleeding heart quote every tenth post or so) are the day to day struggles that we all face. Whether its simply a bad week or an entire season of depression, life is full of tests and trials and some battles take much longer to fight than others. In fact sometimes we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of a full out war. It can seem as though the hits never stop coming. Whether its a loss, issues in a relationship, career troubles, financial strain, or just lack of direction or loneliness, things within your control as well as things beyond your control. One thing is always true; as humans we desire to feel connected to the world around us, to feel as though someone out there can relate, that someone else has felt the pain we are feeling, or suffered the same hardship. While just knowing that you are not the first person to ever struggle the way youre struggling can be of some comfort, knowing that others have not only survived and overcome, but have went on to thrive, grow, learn and be better than ever before can be a tremendous source of hope. Even as I write this I am in the midst of what has probably been the most painful and challenging season of my life thus far. And you know what? Thats ok. Its ok because I firmly believe that your biggest TEST is also your biggest TESTIMONY.

So that is why I have decided to share with you ALL of the moments…Not just the glossy ones, not just the ones that make for a pretty picture. Because afterall there is beauty in pain too. Its all in the way you look at it.

My life is far more complicated, painful, and beautiful (Yes all at the same time) than can possibly be communicated through a string of photos on Instagram. Ive faced a multitude of personal challenges and in many areas I am still very much in the process of finding my way. Ive cried myself to sleep many a night questioning a number of things that have happened to me over the course of the past few years. Questioning why people I loved and cared for hurt or betrayed me. Why certain opportunities did or did not come my way. Why God placed certain people in my life and removed others. And probably most importantly contemplating what my purpose is in this life and what path I am meant to follow.

What I do know is that it is not enough to just breathe and exist in this world or to consume your time with shallow pursuits or the acquisition of money, fame or possessions. I know with certainty that God created each of us for a very specific purpose. Your personality, your individual talents, your appearance, your experiences and even your hardships, trials and perceived weaknesses are not accidental. They were strategically combined, planned far in advance, long before your conception. Each strand of your DNA is marked in Gods handwriting. We each possess gifts that only we can bless the rest of the world with. Thats one calling I dont want to miss…One area where I refuse to fail.

So even as I find myself in this cold and lonely season, I know there is always one absolute. When all else fails God never will.

This is just the beginning. There is so much I hope to share. No matter how it may be received, judged or criticized. Ill lay it all bare in hopes that others might connect with my words and experiences and in turn find some small level of comfort knowing we are all connected whether it be in joy or in pain….